Confesson: I Won

I’m not good at tooting my own horn, but in this case, when I stay quiet, I leave out shining a light on those to whom I owe many thanks. I’m not good at winning, I’m not used to it, so when it happens, the effect is disorienting. 

***

“Help, Thanks, Wow by Anne Lamott," I whispered. I was perusing the shelves in the Friends of the Library book store after I had put in my volunteer time shelving books. 

A few months ago I had read another book by her, Bird by Bird  about writing, so the name caught my eye. I picked it out of the shelf and read a few blurbs, “... in Help, Thanks, Wow, Lamott has coalesced everything she's learned about prayer into these simple, transformative truths.” Hmm, I thought and stuffed it back onto the shelf.   

Later, at home, I opened my e-mail, my eye went immediately to a correspondence from Port Yonder Press, a literary magazine which had published a short story of mine (and awarded me a prize in their Debut Authors Edition) back in April. 

As I read the letter, I was once again bowled over. Or, wowed, for a better word. Down at the bottom of the list of nominees which Eastern Iowa Review/Port Yonder Press was sending into Pushcart Prize, was my story, “Counting Happy”. 

Last November when I submitted the story, asking the literary magazine to, “Help please, would you like to publish my story?”  They did. I said, “Thanks.” And now I say, “Wow” to the Pushcart nomination. Wow. 

As in many other awards, it is a privilege and an honor, unlooked for, wondered at and overwhelming, just to be nominated. 

I have to say, to the people at Eastern Iowa Review/Port Yonder Press and all the people (especially Anne Vandermolen & Elaine Thomopoulos of my writers group) who encouraged me in my writing, “Thanks and Wow!"

What’s my story, “Counting Happy” about? It is about a very sad, powerless woman who makes a small, though potent decision out of desperation and fear, only to regret it in the future. The woman and her circumstances are not in any way based on me and my life, except that she and I like tea. 

What is the Pushart Prize? The Pushcart Prize is "... an American literary prize published by Pushcart Press that honors the best "poetry, short fiction, essays or literary whatnot" published in the small presses over the previous year. Magazine and small book press editors are invited to submit up to six works they have featured. Anthologies of the selected works have been published annually since 1976. It is supported and staffed by volunteers," according to Wikipedia. 

One joy-kill blogger thinks that writers should never embarrass themselves by listing “Pushcart Prize Nomination” on their accomplishments, because they are one in 60,000 people nominated every year. But as a very astute, though profane writer, Mark, commented, “… publishing a story anywhere is g*d**ned hard enough. You find the one place of the millions out there who likes your craptastic story, you should tout that journal and then go around and brag the hellz about it …cause the chances of you convincing another schmuck to like your crap is a million to one. Literally. There are a million lit journals and you happened to find the one journal that liked your stupid story. And you’d turn your nose up at that? …” 

I have to agree with Mark. 

{Just to clarify: I won the Debut Authors Prize from Port Yonder Press. They recently nominated me for Pushcart, the winners have not been announced.}